


Brother's Keeper

by Hailee_jackson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean punches a cop, Depression, Gen, Good Big Brother Dean, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If Dean steals a crappy car what do I tag it as, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, No Impala, Pre-Series, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teenage Winchesters, Teencheesters, angsty, not happy at all, sam has self esteem issues, sorry - Freeform, tw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hailee_jackson/pseuds/Hailee_jackson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a social worker shows up at the motel door and John isn't answering his phone, things begin to spiral out of control rapidly. </p><p>TW! Suicide</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brother's Keeper

**Author's Note:**

> This has been floating around in my head since May, and I finally wrote it.  
> Disclaimer: I hate CPS so I will never portray them positively. You have been warned.  
> Disclaimer II: I love cops, but they were siding with the social worker.

“Look, ma’am, he’s going to pick up the phone. I promise. You just have to let it ring once and then call. It’ll tell him that it’s really important. Just do what I said, okay?”

“Dean,” there was a pause, and Sam leaned closer to the door to make sure he didn’t miss anything. “I realize that you’ve had a lot of responsibility lately, and I’m sure that you have done a wonderful job, but we’re here to help now. You don’t have to be in charge anymore. I will continue to call your father, and you can be a normal sixteen year old in the meantime. Will that be alright?”

Sam waited for Dean to adamantly refuse, but the silence dragged on. Doubts began to pervade his consciousness, and before he knew it, he was slumped against the bathroom door as he realized the truth for the first time: Dean didn’t want to be responsible for him. Suddenly, all the lessons over the years had a new taint to them. Dean didn’t teach him how to tie shoes so Sam could be the smartest kid in pre-K; Dean taught him so that he wouldn’t need help anymore. Bedtime stories? Just to make sure that Sammy would stop disturbing him. Lucky Charms? Maybe if Sam had ever shut up about them, Dean could have had something he actually wanted.

He listened desperately for Dean to finally speak up. Maybe he went outside to talk to Dad. But the door still hadn’t opened. That was impossible. This whole scenario was impossible. Social workers weren’t supposed to show up at motels. Dad wasn’t supposed to ignore his phone. _Dean wasn’t supposed to leave Sammy,_ his subconscious intervened.

He shook his head and pushed that thought away, but his heart was breaking in the process and his will was being ripped away with every passing second. He reached for the shelf blindly, trying to pull himself up, when his hand closed around something he’d forgotten was there. A moment of indecision was cut in half by the oppressive silence; his decision was already made.

“It’s alright, Dean,” he whispered, bringing the instrument down until he could almost feel the cold, sharp metal edge. “I’m sorry that you never wanted to have to choose me. Now you don’t have to. It’s all for the best, right?” he asked his reflection in the shiny metal blade.

Taking in a deep breath, he tightened his grip and prepared to drag the blade through his wrist when the voice he’d been straining to hear interrupted him. He froze, waiting.

  
“But me and Sammy will still be together?” Dean was asking.

 _Silly Sammy,_ the voice came back to taunt him. _And you thought he’d refuse? Hell, he’s just making sure he’ll never have to see your stupid face again! I bet they got it all worked out while you were wallowing in self pity. Wow, see how much they get done when you’re not around? God, just do it, you sissy. Do you really want to hold Dean back any longer? His life will be so much easier when you’re gone!_

With a shaky breath but a steady hand, Sam agreed.

***  
The social worker paused. She had been busily taking notes on every detail that could get John Winchester charged with major neglect, if not downright abuse, while Dean deliberated. “Do you want to be with your brother?” she asked.

Dean shook his head. “You really don’t get it, do you?” he asked. “I’m not leaving here without Sammy. He’s not leaving here without me. There’s no motherfucking court that can say that I don’t do a damn good job of raising him, so why don’t you just walk your ass right back out that door and find some poor kid that actually needs your help. Sammy’s got me, and I’m not letting anything change that, got it?”

She shook her head sadly. “But the courts will only see you as a sixteen year old boy, Dean. I’m sorry, but there’s no way around this. You did your job admirably, now it’s time for me to do mine.”

Dean glared at her for a moment before averting his eyes to give himself a chance to cool down. “Well you still have to wait for Sammy to get home from school,” he sighed.

She smiled at him condescendingly. “Thank you for cooperating. I’m sure that things will go much more smoothly if you will just bear with the system. We may even be able to get the two of you together sometime in the future!”

Dean bit his lip and sincerely hoped, for the thousandth time, that Sam had put his headphones on and read a book like he was supposed to. He wanted to tell Sam himself so he’d get a chance to assure his brother that everything would work out in the end.

The social worker glanced down at her phone and looked at Dean apologetically. “It’s a county number. I’d better answer it. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Dean nodded gruffly and waited until the door shut to run to the bathroom and rap gently on the door. “Sammy?” he called quietly.

When there was no answer, he smiled sadly to himself. For once in his life, the little guy had actually listened to what he’d been told.

Dean slid down until he was sitting against the wall just beside the door. “Look,” he said in a low voice, knowing that Sam wouldn’t hear him anyway. “I don’t want them to take you away, Sammy, but Dad still hasn’t called, and I don’t know when he’ll be back. We ran out of money yesterday, Sam. I let you sleep late so that two meals would seem like enough for the day, and then I don’t know what I’d do tomorrow. Sam, I don’t know what to do, man. I can’t lose you, but either way, I can’t take care of you. I just need Dad to be back already, but he’s probably really close to finding the demon if he isn’t answering the emergency call. If he can gank that sonuvabitch, maybe we can go back to normal lives like you always wanted, Sammy. Maybe he’ll show up next week and tell us that we never have to move again. Hell, I’d even go back to school just to tease you all through high school. It would be sad having a limited number of cheerleaders to bang, but I’m sure I could work something out. Dad has to come home first, though, and until he does, I have to take care of you. Sammy, I’m sorry. I can’t take care of you this time. I can’t do it. We don’t have any food. We don’t have any money. At least you’ll have a real bed and three meals a day if we do this.”

He stopped talking abruptly and dropped his head onto his knees as the front door swung open and one of the social worker’s bodyguard looking guys stepped in.

He glanced around the room until his gaze landed on Dean. “Dean, right?” he asked, stalking across the room toward the boy.

Dean nodded silently.

The man knelt down next to Dean. “So, funny thing just happened. You know that county number that called? It was Sammy’s school. Different student, but Carol figured she’d just arrange for the foster family to pick Sammy-“

“Sam,” Dean interjected. “To you, he’s Sam.”

The man shrugged. “Whatever. She was going to have the whole transaction happen over there, but they said something really strange. You’ll never guess what it was.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Am I supposed to be amused by the way you treat me like a five year old and my brother like some worthless merchandise? Is that all we are to you? The bratty means to a paycheck? Newsflash, dumbass! I’m not a baby!”

“And I’m not an idiot, Dean. Now are you going to call Sammy out of the bathroom, or do I have to open it up myself?”

Dean snarled cruelly and landed a punch square on the man’s jaw. “His name,” he hissed, “is Sam. Asshole.”

He pulled himself to his feet while his annoyance was still reeling and tried the door knob. “Sam, come on out now. Sergeant Dumbass and Lieutenant Dickface have an early bedtime tonight, so we need to get moving,” he called, ignoring the unfocused glares coming his way.

When his call was still met with silence, he shook the door and heard a body fall on the floor. “Sam! Did you fall asleep in there?” he laughed. “Come on, man, the door’s locked. Open up!”

Dickwad was still rolling around painfully in Dean’s peripheral vision, but as he glanced down to smirk at the overgrown baby, he had a sudden moment of terror. “Oh my god. Holy shit, are you bleeding?” he asked, genuinely concerned. “I didn’t hit you that hard! I swear! Fuck! It’s going under the door and everything! Did you fall on something? Shit, I hope Sammy doesn’t wake up in a puddle of blood! Hey, Asshole, move your bleeding head before you traumatize my baby brother forever!”

He leaned down and dragged the cop away from the bathroom door, frowning when he didn’t see any lacerations. “But if you aren’t bleeding… SAMMY!”

With new strength, he splintered the bathroom door with one kick and stumbled at the sight that met his eyes. “Help!” he screamed. “Oh my god, help my brother! Please!” He dropped next to Sammy’s head and felt for a pulse in vain. He’d been hunting for six years now. He knew the face of death when he saw it.

He began to shake uncontrollably, and in the sudden influx of emergency personnel, he slipped away undetected. In the frenzy, no one heard the phone ring once and stop before ringing again.

***  
Samuel Winchester was pronounced dead in the motel bathroom at 3:16 pm Tuesday evening. Cause of death was undeniably suicide.

***  
John Winchester sped into the motel parking lot at 7:48 pm and his heart dropped when he saw the police tape over the door.

He was about the ask the lone officer what had happened when the deployed officers completed their ten minute check-in and shattered his last shred of hope.

“Still no sign of Dean Winchester. Remember, approach with caution. His little brother just killed himself, he’s not going to come quietly.”

***  
Dean Winchester snuck out of the closed library at 8:03 pm and hurried to arm himself with everything he needed.

***  
At 10:37 am on Wednesday, the coroner had the shock of his life when a dark haired teenager burst into his office and demanded to see the kid that came in last night, but that shock immediately dissipated only to be replaced when said kid sat up and opened his eyes.

He must have passed out then, because the next thing he remembered he was being shaken by a police officer and asked to describe the teen. All he could remember was the faint smell of Sulphur that seemed to linger around him.

***  
At 11:23 am on Wednesday, Dean and Sam were booking it across country in a stolen car.

They camped out under the stars that night, and Dean couldn’t hold it in any longer. “So what was it, Sammy? Cause I’ll go back there and gank that sonuvabitch for daring to lay a finger on my baby brother!”

Sam looked at him in confusion. “Dean?” he asked.

“What kind of monster did that to you, Sam? I mean, how did it get past all of our protection? I mean, hell, I was thinking that I could keep you safer if you had a real family, but even with all our protection you got attacked, so you better believe I’m never leaving your side again!”

Sam sat up. “Dean, no.” He disentangled himself from the questionable blanket that Dean had found in the trunk. “You don’t have to give up your life for me anymore, okay? It wasn’t a monster. There was no damn monster. I heard you talking, and I knew that you’d never get what you wanted while I was in your way, so I got out of the way. That’s all there is to it, and I didn’t go to all that trouble just to have you force yourself back into a role you hate, so go be a teenager and let me finish the job. All I do is hold you back anyway.”

Dean was frowning. “Sammy? You did this to yourself?”

“Yes. I’m a freak. You don’t have to deny it anymore, Dean. I know you never wanted to anyway.”

“Sam!” Finally grasping the situation, Dean jumped up and grabbed Sam’s arms. “Sammy, if I wanted you gone, I wouldn’t have come back for you. If I wanted to be a teenager, I would have left you in that motel room as soon as Dad took off. If I thought you were a freak, I never would have denied it. Would I ever lie to you, Sam? Am I even capable of thinking on my feet?”

Sam stared at his big brother for a long moment without answering, as if he still wasn’t sure what was true.

Dean felt his manly façade begin to crack, and a single tear made its lonely track down his face. “Sammy, I can’t live without you, man! There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you! I’m never going to leave because I’m never going to want to leave. There’s not a single thing in this world that I’d ever put before you, and there’s no limit to how far I’m willing to go to get you back! You see this? We’re in the middle of nowhere. We have no connections, no money, no food, and no idea where we are, but I’m content because all I want to do in life is keep my brother safe. Sammy, we can start over, just you and me. We can live a normal life where no one can ever take you away from me again, but you have to believe that I want this more than anything else!”

“Because I’m your responsibility,” Sam finished calmly.

“Because you’re my brother,” Dean corrected. “Sammy,” he choked up again, “you were going to die to let me live a life you thought I wanted! How could you not believe that I do the same and more if I can give you a life you’ve always asked for?”

“Oh, Dean!” Sammy whispered, eyes widening as he realized that these were real tears. He wrapped his arms around his brother and felt Dean reciprocate the action. This was safe; this was where he belonged.

So he still didn’t believe everything his brother had said. So he still had a majorly understated view of his own selfworth.

Dean was still there, and he was holding onto Sammy just as tight, and just maybe they would be okay one day.

***  
It was ten years later, to the day, when Sam got the phone call.

Freak accident, car must have fallen, mangled skin, nothing they could have done, risks of being a mechanic.

The funeral was open to the public, and Sam almost didn’t notice the gruff, dark man in the shadows until they were all leaving.

Excusing himself from his group of friends, he walked across the cemetery purposefully.

“Dad?”

John Winchester turned around slowly. “Sammy. I thought I taught you boys to stay away from demons.” And he was gone.

***  
It took Sam a week to figure it out, but when he finally put all the pieces together, he felt like he’d been stabbed as Dean’s words from long ago came back to haunt him.

***  
One day later, a new tombstone was ordered. It simply read: “Dean Winchester. His love knew no limits.”

**Author's Note:**

> Endings are the bane of my existence, but I thought this one was fairly tolerable, so there you have it! Comments, questions, or concerns? You know what to do!


End file.
